I’m reading again for the first time in many years. It’s feeling really great, I feel proud of myself. It started as a result of graduating school and suddenly have a wealth of time between my three 12 hour shifts a week. One book turned into 2, and now I’m on book 5 with a goal of reading 25 this year. It’s good because my goal for exercising has been far less successful.
I haven’t posted on here for a very long time. In my tumblr posting heyday, I once posted a Bright Eyes lyric I loved. My brother commented and asked if a lyric about a yellow bird in the song was in reference to Capote. Me, a 19 year old, eager to look smart and artistically minded, claimed it was…even though I had to look up who Truman Capote was and what the hell this “yellow bird” symbol was. Well, 4 years later, (having almost entirely forgotten about this blog and that post) I am actually reading a Capote novel and the yellow bird reference popped up and this vague memory hazily surfaced as I read. I finally remembered the post, and the song, and Tumblr in general. These old posts seem so odd, so unlike the current me, in both good and bad ways. I remember when I used to be moved by music and books and even though these memories often fill me with embarrassment of my youth, (I was sodramatic) I do think it was great of me to care about art and feel love for silly things that are all but absent in my life nowadays. I have grown up since then in good, good ways—I’m so glad I made the decision to marry and for how much more meaningful it has made my life—but I also grew away from things that I wish I hadn’t.
I hope to keep reading. I hope to gain back some of the youth in me that was lost when school and practical life became my only focus. Here’s to a year with more balance; more of the new me and more of the old me that I miss.